{"id":178,"date":"2013-07-14T00:12:25","date_gmt":"2013-07-14T00:12:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/?p=178"},"modified":"2016-08-11T04:18:33","modified_gmt":"2016-08-11T04:18:33","slug":"the-lone-ranger-rides-off-a-cliff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/?p=178","title":{"rendered":"The Lone Ranger Rides Off A Cliff"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"bb9bc6b9944ccf337e1b21c7ea588cae\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It is rare that I deign to expend valuable time to write a movie review. Clearly if a movie strikes a chord of remembrance or exhibits a unique creativity, it is worth mentioning. But on occasion, a movie does the total opposite.\u00a0 On the offbeat occasion when a movie is a total disgrace, when it offends a pleasant memory, a critical attack becomes necessary to protect the viewing public from plunking $ 12.50 down + snacks and wasting 149 minutes of time that could be better spent walking up and down the streets of Fort Lee picking up stray bottles and cigarette butts left on the sidewalk by less than considerate citizens.<\/p>\n

The \u201cLone Ranger\u201d should never have ridden again.\u00a0 <\/i><\/b>Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels are most certainly turning over in their respective graves.\u00a0 \u00a0As the first TV western in history (derived from the radio show), the TV series ran from 1949 to 1951 and from 1954 to 1957 and had kids racing home from school to watch it when it came on at 3:30 P.M.\u00a0 While Clayton Moore was clearly a bit stilted in his acting, his booming baritone voice and charismatic portrayal endeared him as one of the most beloved cowboy heroes in history.\u00a0 The original episodes, showing the massacre of the Texas Rangers, the rescue by Tonto, his faithful Indian companion, and the introduction of Silver, his \u201cspirited steed\u201d were legendary.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t a kid of that era that did not know to whom Kemosabe referred or which cowboy only used silver bullets.<\/p>\n

The Lone Ranger 2013<\/b>, a spoof on the TV series, casts Armie Hammer as a buffoon who accidentally becomes \u201cthe Lone Ranger\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 Johnny Depp, who apparently cannot shake his character of Captain Jack Sparrow, changes his disguise, but brings nothing new or positive to the table.\u00a0 (At least Jay Silverheels was a genuine Mohawk Indian, bringing a touch of reality to the TV show.) William Fichtner, as the villain, Butch Cavendish, lacks any screen presence, with a performance that will be forever erased from memory upon leaving the theater.\u00a0 Helena Bonham Carter\u2019s performance may be the one bright spot in the feature, but even her unique talents could not save this movie.<\/p>\n

To say this new version of the Lone Ranger is \u201ccampy\u201d is the understatement of the year.\u00a0 The \u201cflashback\u201d sequencing, with a young boy wearing a mask and cowboy hat, entering a Wild West museum, and witnessing a mannequin come to life (Tonto as an old man), \u00a0adds new dimension to the term \u201cboring\u201d.\u00a0 This sequencing, which continues throughout the movie, is trite and totally extraneous.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The screenwriter should be tarred and feathered.\u00a0\u00a0 If we were not already praying for salvation in our depraved emotional state, the movie adds a grossly profane portrayal of \u201cSilver\u201d, with the horse constantly being insulted by Tonto as \u201cstupid\u201d for choosing the Lone Ranger character as his master.<\/p>\n

The last twenty minutes of the movie, with some \u201cIndian Jones\u201d type action scenes is the only redeeming feature, with at least a few goose bumps to fans of the TV series when the William Tell Overture is played.\u00a0\u00a0 Other than that, this feature film is an endurance contest, waiting impatiently for the ending, which cannot come too soon.\u00a0 The conclusion, of course, follows the course of this travesty, falling totally flat.<\/p>\n

Every American who attends this atrocity will be scratching his\/her head, saying “what was Director Gore Verbinski thinking and should he ever be allowed to direct again”.\u00a0 The answer is a resounding \u201cNo\u201d.\u00a0 Please spare us!<\/p>\n

Folks, please do yourselves a favor.\u00a0 Take your kids to see \u201cMonsters University\u201d<\/b>and at least get some value for your money.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is rare that I deign to expend valuable time to write a movie review. Clearly if a movie strikes a chord of remembrance or exhibits a unique creativity, it is worth mentioning. But on occasion, a movie does the total opposite.\u00a0 On the offbeat occasion when a movie is a total disgrace, when it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=178"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":180,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/178\/revisions\/180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}