{"id":439,"date":"2016-12-30T22:47:27","date_gmt":"2016-12-30T22:47:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/?p=439"},"modified":"2016-12-31T18:26:53","modified_gmt":"2016-12-31T18:26:53","slug":"senior-health-message-a-little-humor-to-start-2017","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/?p=439","title":{"rendered":"SENIOR HEALTH MESSAGE – A LITTLE HUMOR TO START 2017"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Working in Eldercare, sometimes you run across something amusing.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I was unable to locate the author\u2019s name, but I would like to thank this individual for expressing his\/her unique point of view on the aging process. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

=============================<\/em><\/p>\n

As I was lying in bed, pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don\u2019t really give a rat\u2019s ass. It\u2019s the tortoise life for me!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. <\/em><\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is very fat. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
  3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
  4. A tortoise doesn\u2019t run and does nothing, yet lives for 450 years. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u00a0<\/strong>And you tell me to exercise!! I don\u2019t think so. <\/strong><\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/strong>I\u2019m Retired. Go around me!<\/strong><\/p>\n

    God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

    Now that I\u2019m older, here\u2019s what I\u2019ve discovered:<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    4. Funny, I don\u2019t remember being absent-minded. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    5. Funny, I don\u2019t remember being absent-minded. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    6. If all is not lost, where is it?<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    8. Some days, you\u2019re the dog, some days you\u2019re the hydrant. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    9. I wish the buck stopped here, I could sure use a few. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    12. It\u2019s hard to make a comeback when you haven\u2019t been anywhere.<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you\u2019re in the bathroom. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    14. If God wanted<\/em> me to touch my toes, he\u2019d have put them on my knees. <\/strong><\/li>\n
    15. When I\u2019m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone have to be playing chess?<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    16. It\u2019s not hard to meet expenses \u2026 they\u2019re everywhere. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    17. The older difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
    18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter\u2026<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      I go somewhere to get something, <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

      And then wonder what I\u2019m hereafter.\u00a0 <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Funny, I don\u2019t remember being absent-minded.<\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n
      2. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE \u2026\u2026.???????? <\/strong><\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Working in Eldercare, sometimes you run across something amusing.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I was unable to locate the author\u2019s name, but I would like to thank this individual for expressing his\/her unique point of view on the aging process. ============================= As I was lying in bed, pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=439"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":441,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/439\/revisions\/441"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=439"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=439"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pearlsofwisdom.guru\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=439"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}